George Clooney Hoops for Change
Mr. Suavely Handsome himself, George Clooney, threw a fundraiser for President Obama that garnered an estimated $15 million. The Prez made funny at the dinner by referring to George’s basketball skills, saying Clooney had been “talking smack about his basketball game ever since I’ve known him. And we’ve actually known each other a while.”
Whoa. Known each other “a while?” Could this be a hint that there exists a pic from an intra-Clooney basketball tourney in Hawaii in which a young Barack Obama participated? If so, Arizona’s Sheriff Joe should get to work determining its authenticity. This may be the smoking basketball that birthers have been waiting for–a fake close-up of Barack and George post-partum tossing a ball between bassinettes. Since George Clooney claims to be from Kentucky, we’ll know for sure that there’s something mighty strange going on.
Back to safer ground. Guests paid $40,000 a plate and Wolfgang Puck threw together something for them to munch on: An artichoke salad; roasted Peking duckling with tiny buns; lamb and beef cheek duo; potatoes and Brussels sprouts, plus sweet corn tortelloni. You’d think after the week he had the President would want to give references to buns and cheeks a rest and ask Wolf to whip up something a little less suggestive of Presidential evolution. But then, “quick rolls” and “lamb married to beefy chuck” would have had presented their own challenges–better to be true to buns and cheeks and let the food humorists have their little snickerdoodle.
As if the dinner weren’t enough, guests also got to hobnob with Robert Downey Jr., Barbra Streisand, James Brolin, Jack Black, and Salma Hayek; Clooney’s latest girlfriend, former wrestler Stacy Keibler (who replaced third-year rookie Elisabetta Canalis after Elisabetta fouled out by uttering the forbidden “M” word); and Tobey Maguire, who joined Bam and Clooney for shooting hoops the next morning. All this, and then there were the two lucky raffle winners who got to attend with their husbands, probably because saying that they were having a girls’ night out didn’t work when the night out entailed a trip to California.
A caller to a Los Angeles radio station reported that her excited kids stood on the roadside leading up to Clooneyville and held up signs. I don’t imagine the signs referred broadly to the economy or the stimulus package. They probably said something more personal like “Please don’t take away this lemonade stand–my dad’s been unemployed for 99 weeks and needs to keep busy” or “I was planning to go to college but becoming an electric car mechanic suddenly seems attractive.” There were no “Occupy Clooney” signs so the Secret Service and copters circling were evidently enough to discourage any from the 99% who would’ve fancied some lamb-and-beef cheek chucked in their direction.
President Obama acknowledged Clooney’s help with the self-deprecation for which he’s known. “We raised a lot of money because people love George. They like me; they love George.”
Not entirely accurate Mr. President! If the latest polls are correct, 50% don’t like you as much as Mitt Romney. No word on their feelings about Clooney, but “love” may be a word neither Stacy Keibler nor the public has ever associated with George Clooney, though he does have an admirable way of looking graceful while scarfing down roast duckling with tiny buns. To be fair, we think George and his DNC friends would be more than happy to twist your eager arm and teach you to “fork over” if you ever want to learn the correct duck-eating technique. Just bring your appetite and your checkbook and if you’re lucky, George may ask you to shoot a few hoops.